Silver Tears
by Daze
Summary: Mark finds out he's HIV positive and for the first time in his life, he needs Roger to take care of him. M/R ::CHAPTER FIVE FINALY UP::
1. Christams Eve

DISCALIMER: As much as I wish I did, I do not own Mark or Roger ::sniff:: They belong to the late great Jonathan Larson.  
  
Silver Tears  
  
By Daze  
  
Chapter One: Christmas Eve  
  
I'll never forget the look on his face when he read the letter. Sitting on the couch, he clutched the dreaded paper in his hands. "Roger" he said, looking up "I'm HIV positive." Silver tears formed and melted into his pale blue eyes. Another thing I'll never forget is his eyes. Showing fear, sorrow, and confusion. Begging to be comforted. I sat down next to him and put my arm around him. He fell into my embrace, shaking.  
  
That was 3 month ago. He can barely hold himself up now. He's so much smaller than me; the virus attacked him so quickly. Yesterday, we walked to the Life Café to eat lunch. It took him a half hour to go down the stairs on his crutches. He refused to let me carry him. After we ate, I carried him up the stairs. He was too weak to get up to the loft by himself.  
  
Today is Christmas Eve. It's a tradition that we watch Disney's "A Christmas Carol". Mark likes it, even though he's Jewish. Well. it got to the part in the "future" when Tiny Tim. dies. Poor Mark. He looked at his crutches, looked at me and looked at the floor. "I'm Tiny Tim this year. and I'm gonna die." He started sobbing. I hugged him, wrapping my arms around his small body, wanting to protect him from any harm and pain that he'd ever come across. He fell asleep in my arms. He looks so peaceful asleep. So carefree. The way he looked before the disease attacked him. I wish we could stay this way forever. 


	2. Christmas Morning

NOTE: Second Chapter. Roger's POV again. I'll make a Mark POV one of these days. Once again, they belong to the late great Jonathan Larson. Oh. and the part about The Who; I needed a band, and I was listening to "My Generation - The Very Best" when I wrote this. Same thing with the hot chocolate. LOL  
  
I know some people wanted to know HOW Mark got HIV+  
  
I'm going to explain than once I get into the Mark POV chapters. Prolly Ch. 4 or 5.  
  
ENJOY n_n!!!  
  
  
  
Silver Tears  
  
By Daze  
  
Chapter Two: Christmas Morning  
  
  
  
"Roger!" I hear him saying. "Roger! Wake up! Look!" I open my eyes to see Mark looking back at me, grinning, all showered and dressed already. I glance at the clock on the VCR. Twelve o'clock. Twelve o'clock. Twelve o'clock. It takes me a while to realize that the VCR clock is broken. "Look!" he says again, and points to the small Christmas tree I set up last week. I notice several presents under it labeled "To Roger; Love Mark" Mark crawls over to the tree stand and grabs one of them. He attempts to crawl back to me with it, but he needs both hands to crawl. He tosses the box to me, crawls onto the couch, and rests his head on my shoulder. I can't help but notice that he looks so much happier than he did last night.  
  
I open the box and find a smaller box. Heh. Cute. In that box, however, was a twenty-dollar gift card to Blockbuster Video. I love him so much. He crawls back to the tree and I join him on the floor. He hands me the boxes with my name on them one by one until I have a small pile sitting in front of me. Guitar picks, a CD by The Who, a key chain with my name on it in glow in the dark letters, four "chocolate orange" my favorite candy, and because he always seems to know what I need, I find a new pair of boxers.  
  
I smile and scoop him into my arms. He kisses my neck and starts giggling. It's good to not have him so sad like he was last night. We sit like that for a few minutes He sighed happily and leaned up against my chest. . I ran my fingers through his soft yellow hair. Suddenly, he picks his head up. "Oh! I almost forgot!" he said, looking up at me, "Follow me! I'll take you to the other half of your Christmas present!" He limps towards the kitchen. I follow him, walking at a slow pace so I don't pass him. We enter the room and I see 2 steaming mugs of hot chocolate, a plate piled with pop tarts, blueberry for me, strawberry for him, and two bowls of hot cereal on the table. In the center of the table, there's a heart shaped candle. Did I mention how much I love him? I help him into his chair and I sit opposite him. As we're eating, he says that the girls are coming over later. He means Maureen, Joanne, and Mimi. Ya know, I've become a lot better friends with all three of them after coming out as being gay. We finish breakfast and I hand Mark a small wrapped package. He looks at it and smiles. "Wait till tonight, Roger! I'll open it when I light my candles for Chanukah!" "I have another one for tonight. Open this one now." He picks it up and carefully takes the paper off of it. He looks at it and cries. But this is different than last night. He's smiling. I had given him a framed picture. I found it in an old photo album. It was a picture of the two of us, grinning at the camera. It was taken when we first met, I was 22, he was 21. Before we got sick, before Mimi, before Maureen. Before April. Before AIDS. "Thank you." He said. He placed it carefully next to the heart shaped candle and smiled again. "Now." He said, wiping the tears form his eyes, "Let's get ready for people to come here. Collins said he might stop by later, too. You go get dressed and I'll clean up the table" 


	3. Christmas Day ((Mark))

Silver Tears  
  
By Daze  
  
NOTE: I tried to write this one in Maureen POV, but that was taking forever. This is the first one in Mark POV. It's almost like he's narrating for his camera here. I started to put how he got HIV without making this thing rated NC-17. @_@ I think you guys can figure it out. I hope. I changed the rating to PG.  
  
This takes place a few hours after the last chapter.  
  
Once again, these people do not belong to me. They belong to the Late Great Jonathan Larson. But if he doesn't need them anymore, I'll be happy to take Marky for him. Having her own Marky would make Daze a VERY happy fan-girl.  
  
ENJOY n_n!!  
  
Chapter Three: Christmas Day  
  
::yawn:: I wake up and stretch. I had fallen asleep on the couch with Roger waiting for the girls to get here. The girls! I can hear them in the kitchen. He must be with them. I start looking for my crutches to get myself into the kitchen. Oh. You might be wondering about that. See. I don't always need them. I just don't have a lot of energy anymore. Roger told me it would go back to normal soon, if there were such a thing as normal in our building. If normal even exists. The thing is, I have HIV. Roger has it too, and I got it from him. It wasn't his fault though. It was a mistake. We were together, and we were so happy, and we were not thinking. But I'm not mad at him for it. This has actually brought us closer together.  
  
I spot my crutches on the floor and slip my arms into the circles at the top. I start walking towards the kitchen. I hear Roger telling them about what happened last night. It sounds like there's a catch in his voice, like he's sad about it. I feel my face go red. Why did I do that last night? Why did I get so sad? Why was he telling them this? I walk into the kitchen and force a smile. "Hey guys." Maureen walks over to me and starts to hug me and then stops. She has a sad look on her face. "Marky, honey.this isn't going to hurt you. is it?" she asked carefully. I shake my head no and she hugs me.  
  
I like hugs. It doesn't matter who they're from. I just get this warm feeling inside me when someone hugs me. I can't really describe it. It's different when Roger hugs me. I know he wants to be with me forever and I want to be with him forever. But when one of my friends does, I feel so. loved. And cared about. I smile for real this time.  
  
Roger picks me up and puts me back on the couch. "Jeeze, Roge! All that work getting to the doorway and you put me back on the couch?" he laughs and I grin. Mimi sits next to him. Joanne sits next to me, and Maureen starts handing out a gift to everyone. "Marky, you open yours first." I carefully take the paper off it and I see a book about the making of Star Wars. Yay! This is so cool! I must have had this huge grin on my face because everyone starts laughing and Roger puts his arm around me.  
  
NOTE 2: The next chapter ((in someone else's POV takes place right after this one, not time break. I know it seems like this one ends suddenly, but it will be continued.  
  
YAY!! I drew this about 2 minutes ago to go with the story. It's Marky hugging his new Star Wars book.  
  
Copy and paste the address.  
  
http://phreakachu12.homestead.com/files/Scan_FFN_Starwars.jpg 


	4. Christmas Day ((Roger))

Silver Tears  
  
By Daze  
  
NOTE: Sorry for how long this took. Daze has been reviewing for the mid- terms at school and has been sick. Daze's cat, Lucky, has also been sick. This starts right where chapter three left off. It's in Roger POV. ((Mark is HARD to write for!! @_@)) Once again, these people do not belong to me. They belong to the Late Great Jonathan Larson. Daze wants her own Mark. Daze wants a chibi Mark. But she doesn't own him. ;_; She does have a Marky doll she's making, though.  
  
Anyways…  
  
ENJOY n_n!!!  
  
Chapter Four: Christmas Day ((Roger))  
  
I seriously must have the cutest boyfriend ever. He opens his present from Joanne and Maureen and his whole face lights up. He hugs the book and I couldn't help but start laughing. Mimi and Maureen were laughing too. Joanne looked like she was trying not to. Mimi tells us she didn't have enough money to buy us anything so she would treat us both to ice cream later that week. She said it was either gifts for everyone, or AZT. And "No offence guys, but I chose to live." I told her it was ok. I felt kind of tired all of a sudden… I didn't fall asleep until after midnight last night. I yawned and Mimi asked if I was all right. I told her I was a little tired… that I only needed some sleep. She moved over and said if I wanted, I could lay down on the couch. I stretched out and rested my head on Mark's lap. He looked down at me and laughed. I grinned at him took a short nap.  
  
When I opened my eyes, the girls were still here, and Collins was, too. "Hey kid. Merry Christmas" he waved to me. "Hey!" I sat up and leaned against Mark. "You stayed there the whole time?" "Yeah… I wasn't gonna leave you on the couch asleep!" I started to snuggle up against him, rubbing my face on his. He started to giggle. "Geeze Roger! Are you a cat or something?" Joanne asked me. I looked up and Collins tossed me a wrapped package. "It's for the both of you." I decide to let Mark open it and I watch him as he pulls out a beautiful quilt for our bed. "Wow… Collins! This is so cool! Thank you!" Mark is still staring at the quilt, smiling. I quickly wrap it around him and hold him like he's a little kid. Oh, he looks so cute like that.  
  
Mimi says something about her new boyfriend is taking her to lunch for Christmas so she should get going. My ears perk up at this. Mimi has a new boyfriend? I feel Mark's arm go tighter around me. He looks at me as if to say 'I'm the one you chose… don't leave me… I need you'. I quickly nod. Mimi gives me and Mark both a kiss and hugs Collins before heading out. Joanne and Maureen head out to the lot. Maureen was doing a Christmas presentation. "Collins, are you gonna stay here?" my film maker asks. "Sure. I'll stick around for a while." He paused and looked at us cuddled up. "You guys remind me so much of myself and Angel. I miss him so much, and it makes me feel so good to see you two together." Mark looks up at me and I nod. I carry him over to where Collins is sitting and put him down next to him. (I've gotten pretty strong in the past few weeks carrying Mark around the loft) I sit on the other side of him and the three of us sit there in a group hug for a long time. After awhile, I get up to make some more hot chocolate (a gift from Mark's mom – gourmet hot chocolate) for us and I glance back at my Mark. He has his arms wrapped tightly around Collins and is wearing a kind of sad smile. I sat back down next to Collins and hand each of them a mug full of chocolate. Collins starts asking me how we've been doing lately. I tell him about how both of us have been a lot more tired – and we have! I never used to take naps during the day. He tells us that that's normal for things like that to start to happen during the colder months.  
  
We talk for a while longer. Mark tells Collins about his idea for a new film, Collins tells us about a teaching job that opened up at a high school near by. We talked about what ever came into our heads for 3 hours. After that, Collins looked at his watch and saw that it said 7:00 PM. He looked at Mark, just as he yawned and stretched. "How early do you usually got to bed?" "7:30-ish… like I said, we've both been tired lately." "Hmmm… I don't want you guys to miss too much sleep… I'll head home. I'll see you guys at my New Years party. Merry Christmas and Happy Chanukah." And he left. Mark lit the candles on his little menorah. And opened my present to him: tickets to go to an indi film festival in January. "Thank you!!" he cried and hugged me.  
  
I ruffled his hair a little. "Come on kiddo. Lets go to bed." I helped him into our room. Without even bothering to change into pajamas, we fell asleep under out new quilt, his hand wrapped around mine. 


	5. Memories

Silver Tears  
  
By Daze  
  
NOTE: ack.. I'm sorry this took so long to write. I'm just a strange arse person. Anyways. You know the drill. Marky and Roger belong to the late great Jonathan Larson. However, these shibby RENT teddy bears belong to ME. http://www.geocities.com/bohemianchica85/rentbears.html  
  
ENJOY n__n!  
  
Chapter 5: Memories  
  
Roger POV  
  
I woke up before he did. This is unusual because I'm so used to having him wake me up and give me breakfast. He looks to peaceful and at ease. I look at the smile on his face and I can feel a matching one start to make its way onto mine. I start thinking about the day we first met. I knew I fell in love with him the day I saw him in the park. It wasn't until years later that I was able to admit that to myself and years after that till I could admit it to anyone else.  
  
*******  
  
He was sitting on the grass in the park under a tree. He was crying. I casually wandered over to him and sat down. He looked at me with a look of pure terror on his face. "Don't hurt me… please don't hurt me." and he started crying again.  
  
"Shhh… it's OK. I'm not going to hurt you. It's OK. I'm Roger. What's your name?" I asked him, and started to rub his back. "Mark." He told me this whole long story about how he was filming two people playing Frisbee and they saw him and beat him up. "… and it's not bad enough that they hurt me, but now I need a new strap for my camera." He sniffed and held up a broken camera strap. "I slept in the park last night but now I'm afraid to." And he started crying again. 'He slept in the park?' I thought to myself.  
  
"Ummmm, Mark, I sort of live alone right now. I live in a loft with enough room for you to stay with me until you find a place. That is, unless that would make you feel uncomfortable or anything…" he looked up at me and that's when I fell in love. He looked so happy and his eyes were so big and cute. He hugged me and kept saying "thank you! thank you!" over and over again. I helped him get up and we walked back to the loft. When we got up the stairs, I helped him into my room and he lay down on the bed and fell asleep within 5 minutes.  
  
When he woke up he started crying again. I heard him and was in the room in a second. He said he was scared because no one had ever been that nice to him before unless they wanted something from him. I looked at him for a minute. He looked like the kids who got beat up every day in high school. He was a very small person and he looked like he could be easily over- powered, he wore thick glasses that seemed to magnify his eyes a few times.  
  
I hugged him and re-assured him that I would never hurt him. Funny, the irony of those words. I gave him the backpack that he had with him and watched as he spread out three t-shirts, 1 pair of cords, 1 sweater, and 3 pairs of boxers. Plus the stuff he was wearing. He asked in a timid voice if he could have some privacy to change his clothes. I walked out of the room and he limped out a few moments later wearing boxers and a t-shirt and asked me if I could help him get the bloodstains out of his clothes. It was only then that I saw the cuts all over his small arms and legs. I helped him and we fell asleep on the couch together.  
  
*******  
  
I hear a small murmur coming from Mark. He's starting to wake up and I feign sleep so that he can go about his morning ritual of breakfast and waking me. 


End file.
